Parents’ “Heart of the Matter”

52-Swan and Chicks

Parenting is all about heart work…and can be hard work. I have said for many years that parenting two wonderful sons is the greatest success of my life. And it did not come easily. Of all the roles we play, parenting is one of the few with no training, no manual. “Getting to the heart of the matter” would seem easy as applied to parenting.

Think about what the “heart of the parenting matter” entails. I would offer primarily it is unconditional love which alleges that the love comes freely with no constraints. How is that unconditional love displayed when the ball breaks the living room window or the car comes home dented? The “heart of the parenting matter” also involves boundaries. How is that love exhibited when the child freaks because of a curfew that NO ONE else has?  And, the “heart of the parenting matter” includes choices. How is the unconditional love expressed when choices are misaligned with mom or dad’s values?

Big topics to ponder. Parents have an incredible opportunity as well as a major responsibility. Just a few things to consider (there are so many more):

  • How do I share my best self with my child and attend to self-care at the same time?
  • What really matters?
  • What are the most important values I want to share?
  • How willing am I to allow my child to be true to him or herself?
  • How willing am I to allow my child to fail?

As you consider the “heart of the parenting matter” what are the questions you ponder? I’d love it if you’d share your questions and responses so that shared wisdom can inform us all.


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